Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
