He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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