Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
40s are totally the cure
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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