Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
