good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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