wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
