i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
