If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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