You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
