My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
