I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
