in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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