If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Who died my cat blue again?
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