i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Randomize
