I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
