Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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