question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
