So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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