I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
