Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
