Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
