honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
