I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
