im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
