So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
im six kinds of drunk right now
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
