what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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