The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
