Quick, to the slutcave!
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
