I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
