You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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