Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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