Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
