At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I currently don't understand fingers.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
