Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
FUCK WHALES
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
