he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
