just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
