I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
