i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
