I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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