Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
