How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
