She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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