I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
