Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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