We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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