They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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