need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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