Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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