so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
She needs sedatives and a leash
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
