Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
