Im at strip club and am horny
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
