i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
