He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
