If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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